Me vs. Rut...

arrived

okay, i am apparently a bit slow, but i am sure yall will forgive me;  i forgot that i can just log into type pad and do everything from there without having to actually go into my blog page. 

anyway, the move took a really long time, as hubby felt that he could pack up all his stuff in about 15 minutes.  and, of course, it took about 7 hours.  and i still needed to feed us.  and we still had to clean and make everything "move in ready" in order to get our security deposit back.  so instead of leaving at 10am as planned, we rolled out at about 9pm.  thank god my family was understanding and willing to stay and help!!

muppet isnt doing very well with the new location, she has been anxious and super sensitive and clingy to the point that she literally gripped my shirt and held on for dear life for the hour it took me to rock her to sleep.  my poor baby.  adjustment is going to be a big thing for her, it seems.  i guess it is a good thing that i dont have a job yet, i can take the time to establish a sense of "home" before i have to start a new phase of working and being away. 

as for me...  this is all very strange.  i feel like... i am no longer in school and that was my identity for a very long time.  its like... "okay, what do i do now?"  i mean, i know that the next step is to find a natural entry point in regards to a career, and go ahead and do the nursing training.  but it still feels like i am just rootless and trying to find a place to fit. 

i plan to get the sunday paper and scour it for jobs.  i am hunting on the internet and checking neighborhood hospitals, colleges, etc. for positions that put me in somewhat of a "female physical/mental health" capacity.  cross your fingers for me.

other than that, everything is fine.  there is lots of space here and i know that muppet will love it - once she adjusts.  we have, in our room, two full sized beds side by side to make one big bed.  we can spread out, and it is fabulous!!!

okay, i need to shower and sleep.  (as i am waaaaay beyond stank, and i am exhausted!)  more later.

moving day

well, technically, we move tomorrow, but that means today, i am up to my armpits in boxes, tape and newspaper crumbles. 

i have no idea when i will have internet access again, but hopefully it wont be longer than a week from now.  i will be able to check other's blogs before i can update my own - mainly because i can use my brothers computer, but i am keeping this blog from my immediate family... just so i can have a personal space, you know?  no need to have it show up on his "history" page. 

anyway, i will be in touch asap.  until then, hug your babies, enjoy the weather, and try to find something to smile about every day.

love,

k

supermodel

the wonderful and talented afrindiemum sent muppet a wonderful gift this week (that she made with her own hands!), and i must say, i am both deeply moved by her kindness, and deeply in awe of how great my baby looks in her new outfit!!! 

   i mean, is this chick profiling, or what??!!

blurry, yes, but look how excited she was!

and in the interest of recycling the cool ribbon it was wrapped with, voila! a headband!

i find it odd...

... that sesame street is sponsored by both "earth's best" (organic food) and mickey dee's (the junkiest of junk food)

hmmm.  strange.  conflicting interest, much?

dignity

i got the call on thursday night, as the clock neared midnight.  she was having mild contractions, and she didnt want to be alone.  i made the 80+ mile trip, tired from the festivities, and sat in the dark as she tried to sleep.  we breathed, we rocked, i rubbed her hips with almond oil as she raised and lowered her fingers in time with the chants.  i held her in the shower as she swayed, i brushed the hair from her brow as she cried.

she was a wild animal in her "sacred" habitat... there was incense burning - sandalwood - and a rubber pool.  there were grapes and nasty brown rice crackers that we laughed at and i refused to try.  we sat on her bed, piled with pillows, and talked about how powerful being a woman can be.   

the phone went out because of the rain, and we kept the lights off.  she shouted the title of the next cd that should be put on the stereo.  "decency" was not a thought at all as we stood near the windows - one nude, one clothed but still soaked from the shower - and moaned the word "ooooooOOOOOPEN!" we went to 7-11 for slurpees.

and it took hours upon hours upon hours.  but the opening gave way to pulsing, screaming, thoroughly electric energy. 

and he was there.  and we sat in awe. 

so beautiful.

welcome to the world, adonai.

who's the master?

sho'nuff?  no. 

bruce-leroy?  no.

I AM !!!

sweet and sour

i dont know about you and your babies, but muppet consistently does this:  just when i contort myself into a pseudo-yoga type position to stretch out a limb, she cuddles up to me in the sweetest way and reclines on me; one of those rare moments of "baby love" in the midst of this tornado like time in her life.  which, of course, means that i have to stay in that contorted position because if i move, she will run away to play again. 

ah, so sweet.  ah, so painful.

anyway, my mothers day brought me most of the things i wanted.  i got a big ole' pot of curry chicken and potatoes (whoo hoo!!) and lots of kisses. 

i didnt get to sleep late, though, because my client (remember, i am a doula.  my client just happens to be the doula i used at muppets birth!) started getting crampy, and as she was 3 cm dialated as of her friday appointment, we thought things could go fast.  (things have since tapered off.) 

then i had to work. ugh.

afterwards, we went out to eat at the restaraunt i chose - which, for the record, was ihop.  i love ihop!  besides, as we are going out for a fancy-shmancy dinner on thursday night post-graduation ceremonies, i really wanted super casual, low wait time type dining.  i had yummy pancakes with the oh-so-fake-and-delicious-butter-pecan syrup! mmmmmm!  of course, there was a down side. someone came with us... and, ahem, embarassed the hell out of me.  and for someone to embarass you at ihop, you know it has to be bad.  but i dont want to re-visit those emotions.

it was a sweet day. but also? a bit sour.

happy mothers day!!!

to all my lovely mothers out there, here are a few "gifts" for you... (make sure you click them in order, and once there, play along!!!)

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=3994891873116M115974571Y

and

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=5524471872119M115979385Y

and

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=5201521875119M115978866Y

enjoy your day, you amazing women!!!

picture this...

i have a few pics to share... (and mind you, i have been playing with this photo maker toy thing on my computer and doing some really strange things...)

make sure you click on this so you can read the asinine captions i added

it was waaaaay past bedtime

taking pics in the apartment hallway, for some strange reason...

huge white nursing bras are so NOT discreet.  anyone know where i can find a black one?

does this pic look familiar? hmmmm?!

doing it all by herself

mmmm, chick peas!

reflective

juicebox fun!!

yeah, i know she's waaaay too big for that seat! but the "big girl" carseat was in mil's car and i wanted to go to ikea with my sister, so we had to make due.

watercolor effect, pretty butterfly hair clip

my desktop background;  i LOVE this pic of her!

hubby does not want his image on this blog, but i really wanted to share a pic of me on my wedding day. (well, technically, this is the day after at the reception, as we got married in a park... but you get the idea.  the professional photographer came to the reception, i wanted the wedding itself to be as simple and unintrusive as possible.)

mommy bloggers mothers day thingey

well, i was presented with some questions for a mass mother-love-a-thon over at mommybloggers, and i thought that i would post my answers here for your viewing pleasure:

1) Mother, Mommy, Mama, Mami, Moma or something else...what do you prefer,

and why?

I prefer "mama." In my house, it is pronounced "MAH-muh" and I love it because it sounds... well, a wee bit country.  And I like that, my being a southern girl and all. It was always a title I wanted growing up and now... I have it.  Corney, I know!

2) If you could visit your pre-child self, what would you tell her?

Oh, honey, stop buying all those little cutesy, ultimately unnecessary newborn things for the hope chest and start slowly stockpiling those cloth diapers 'cuz they are NOT cheap!  (haha!)  Seriously, I would tell her to finish that little blanket she started crocheting because it is going to come in handy for the NICU in her future.  I would tell her to stick with her gut and be as natural and peaceful as possible.  I would tell her that she is beautiful and that that knowledge will help her to raise an amazing little girl someday.  Oh, and that slobbery kisses will one day rock her world!

3) What is your ideal Mother's Day celebration?

Sleeping in, waking up to a clean house and clean baby, and having some curry on the stove waiting for me while hubby prepares to give me a back rub

4) What parenting issue are you sick of hearing about?

Whether or not to be an attachment type parent.   Just love your baby to the best of your ability, ladies.  That's all that they know, that's all that matters.  Trust me, they are not reading the latest literature on it, it only matters that they get all the hugs and kisses and warmth and kindness you can give. 

5) What is the hardest mothering task?

For me, it is going to school and working while breastfeeding and being a full time mom.  Ahhh!.., finding enough hours in the day without feeling like I am neglecting my baby...  it is tough!

6) Who is your mothering role model?

Mother nature.  She gives us the best she's got; its up to us to do right by it.