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« bah humbug. | Main | first trip to the park »

July 11, 2006



Muppet's belief is such a beautiful thing. The two of you an entity of your own - a constellation, a geometric equation, a tidal flow - and the best part of all is that she has embodied this belief. She knows that she lives in your heart, your love living for her with every breath. I don't think a mother could ask for more validation than that.

At three years old, Satchel has started to see this differently. One moment he owns me, the next he turns on me. Of course I think it is okay. He needs to separate and if he didn't love me so much and feel so connected, he wouldn't push so hard. But it is slightly painful for a mother when, from birth, you try to give your child the feeling of continuity and oneness that Muppet has discovered, and then you need to give them space to grow separate instead.

Rudolf Steiner has said that around three years of age the Mother's all-encompassing presence pulls away. He calls it the "Madonna's Cloak." And the mother-love veil is slowly opened to let the child fully emerge into their own being. Until three, the mother/child are nearly the same being energetically.

I guess what I'm saying is that you should be proud of your mothering. Proud that Muppet is so secure and happy and thriving in the loving veil of your motherhood. And enjoy every second of it. Because soon your job will be to let her emerge and, while lovely to let go gracefully, sometimes it hurts.

Recently I've realized that the rest of childhood will be about letting go. Being available for Satchel to connect when HE needs to but allowing him to fly otherwise. And slowly letting his true being emerge.

Hopefully, they will walk away knowing that, ultimately, we are still one "ME." Because as mothers, we can't see it any other way. These children have taken a part of us out into the world to live.

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