Me vs. Rut...

latte... ummm!

i first fell in love with coffee when i was 13.  i was a candy striper, and as "payment" for our volunteer services, we got free lunch and a free snack each day.  a friend of mine worked with me, and she and i decided to have our snacks together in the hospital gift shop.  we, for whatever reason, decided on a big chocolate chip cookie, and a cup of coffee each.  (i think that having coffee made us feel grown-up)  well, let me tell you, after having that snack every day for an entire summer... the caffiene did its job well.  i was hooked.  (not to mention that i was already addicted to cocacola, so it wasnt a huge leap) 

well, the love affair was a shaky one... off and on.  because quite frankly, my mother would have had a conniption if she knew i was drinking coffee - it wasnt something that we kept in the house.  but the seed was planted.

fast forward to, i think, about 2001.  i was in oahu, and there was a starbucks right down the street from my hotel.  i was there with a friend, and she was pissing me off.  (she is wealthy, and kept wanting to do extravagant and super expensive things, i was on a super budget as i had just blown my savings to be there, period!  so i needed some me time - both to cool off and to just find someting to do that was free)  i wandered outside to walk around waikiki, and stopped into the starbucks.  (kona, anyone?)   it was there that i discovered liquid sugar.  oooooh, the love affair was back in full effect!  i had to have spent hours in there that day, getting a hard-core fix and falling in love with the ambiance.

now, let me state that i have yet to find a starbucks that equals the beauty and serenity of that one, but the emotional fix is still the same.   i now love coffee houses, and as starbucks is everywhere, it is a convenient haven.  (funny note - i dont like their coffee.  i always get some type of foo-foo latte thing or soy chai or some iced tea.)

fast forward to now:  there is a starbucks on campus.  i just tried their cinnamon dulce latte.  orgasm in a cup, let me tell you.  it has that deep cooked sugar flavor mixed with the slightly sour hot milky goodness.  not too sweet, though, and if you suffer through the anticipation for about 10 minutes (like a little kid, bouncing with excitement) it cools to the perfect temperature. 

i cant justify going there every day, but i figure, for my saturday class that is 3 damn hours long, i may as well make it a bit easier to take with a cup of latte.  know what i mean?

and in keeping with the coffee theme...

todays black fact:

the word "coffee" originated from "kaffa," which is a area in ethiopia in which coffee grows wild.

mmm...

i have a painful addiction to coke.

coca cola, that is.  i drink about a liter (or more) a day.  that just cant be good for this whole breastfeeding thing.  my poor baby.

but ahhhhhh, the sweet burning as it shocks your throat when you are parched, the way it never fails to slake your thirst after a long day of talking to stupid people, the iciness fresh out of the freezer...   

i have a problem.  but oh, what a lovely, lovely problem it is.

product whore

i was going to title this post "the nose knows."  but who am i kidding?!  i am a straight up product whore.  i used to be a product junkie, but i am no longer on the street with a sign "will work for perfume/lotion/scented cleansing potions and notions."  now, i just smile and sidle up to people on the street and seduce them into buying me large, scented gifts.

truthfully, i am one of those people who buy large quantities of beauty products and have a billion things in the bathroom (shower hanging basket, shower wall, medicine cabinet, windowsill, and the basket on the toilet), filling drawers and bags in the bedroom, and scattered on kitchen counters and even (dont talk about me!) on the floor and in misc. bags.  now, mind you, i dont wear makeup unless i really feel like being festive and even then, it stops at lip stuff and some eyeliner... maybe mascara if i am feeling really decadent.  but perfume?  lotions and creams?  bath bombs and gels and foam and bars and whatnot?  oooooohh, yeah baby, dont you want to smell me?  just buy me that little bottle over there... yeahhhh, thats right!!!  to my credit, though, i am on a (so far) 15 year year quest for my signature scent.  i have "found" it several times, but others always seem to taint it.  it used to be kenzo d'ete.  but they changed the formulation.  then it was wings.  but i stopped liking it.  then michael.  that was so sexy!!!  but it got to be... i dont know... too much.  too intense/strong.  then warm vanilla sugar. but everyone started wearing it.  then pink sugar.  same thing.  then i got pregnant and hated all things scented (blasphemy!!! i know!!!)  now... i am on my search yet again. 

i want something that smells sexy, but classy.  reminiscent of a tropical heat but not fruity.  i mean, there can be undertones of fruit, but nothing easily identifiable, you know?  i dont want to smell like a walking piece of fruit.    i want heady, musky, deep and warm surrounded by ocean breezes.  sort of... vanilla musk meets waterfall meets suntan lotion.   yeah.  sexy, right??!!  i can just imagine being on vacation in bali, coming back to the hotel from the spa, freshly waxed and exfoliated all over, taking a hot, steamy shower, oiling myself, and letting my hair out, donning a bamboo slip, and waiting on the terrace for johnny to come back to the room.  thats the feeling i want my signature scent to evoke. 

currently, i am using a near-orgasmic body wash.  it is the brand "tone" and is their new exotic fusions line.  the scent is "water lily and sugar cane" and let me tell you.  forreal.  orgasmic.  it is thick and heady in the shower, but when you get out, there is this delicate scent all over you (i have actually nuzzled myself.  yeah, its that good.)  i then put on st. ives fresh H2O lotion (it is my fav color - blue - and has these funky little beads in it that they call "aqua capsules."  ooh.  fancy shmancy.  both come from walmart.

now, if i layer that with some bobbi brown "beach" perfume, i might have found that perfect combo, although i wish i could find something altogether with that scent.

now one might ask, "i thought you were an au naturel chick."  yes, i am for the most part.  but nothing that i can find in the health food store quite slakes my thirst for products.  i do have a few (jason naturals has a calla lily conditioner that is to die for!!  and aubrey organics' white camilla soap makes me melt) but i need more than can be contained in one category!!!!!  and i cannot stand perfume that has that chemical undertone, that stinging lingering thing that happens deep in your nose after you inhale it.  normally those "sport" fragrances have that thing.  ew.  that is the one thing that natural fragrances have on synthetic.

i have been pouring through sephora and department stores for the past 2 years or so.  i have found a few contenders... i am also contemplating this , though primarily because of the breast cancer awareness bit, but i used to love these little mini sets cuz ive always thought "maybe some of the scents in here will work for me."  common sense would tell me to just smell the full sized versions of the minis and decide that way.  but common sense has no place within addictions!!!

now, i need yall to get on the "enabling bandwagon."  if any of you know something that may fit the above description, let me know!!!

boob tube

i am so loving "americas next top model."  i cant even handle how much i love it.  i live vicariously through all of them in regards to the travel, the beautiful apartments, the excitement.

but the heels? the waking up all early?  the sickening anticipation?  the dealing with all the cattiness?  the makeup?  the backstabbing?  the always having to be "on?" nah.  they can keep that. 

it is real world meets style chanel.  yes!!!  the dvr thingey is set!!!!  i cant wait till they all come out on dvd!

what else am i watching?

csi (las vegas, miami and nyc), bones, house, family guy, divine design, designers challenge, what not to wear, $40 a day, iron chef, good eats and on occasion, dirty jobs and mythbusters.

i am a sex and the city fan (fav character - miranda!!!) and i loved the sitcom "living single," and i watch reruns of "friends" every day.

i like chick flicks, i like romantic comedies, and the next items up for purchase on my list are:  monster in law, the wedding date, americas next top model season 1, guess who and alot like love.

want to see in the movies:  roll bounce

want to get for muppet:  all of the "happily ever after, fairytales for every child" episodes, the fraggle rock collection, the "fatherhood" and "little bill" series by bill cosby, real women have curves, sisterhood of the travelling pants, and all the muppet show character movies (i must admit, my baby is the love child of dr. bensen honeydew)

will one day buy all the hot 80's movies for my collection:  pretty in pink, 16 candles, breakfast club, weird science,  she's having a baby, goonies... (if yall can think of any more, please let me know!!!)

i hate:  99.9% of reality shows!!!  its played out - just stop already! and the worst, worst, worst -   sitcoms in which black folk are shuckin', jivin', and buffoonin'.  can we please stop giving folks ammunition??!!  arrrrrgh!!!

fav movie of all time ever ever EVER:  steel magnolias (greatest movie of all time.  ever ever.  i LOVE the sisterhood!)

cheezy greezy

you know when you psych yourself up for something, and dont get it, and then it haunts you?

i was supposed to treat myself to a slice of pizza today... that thin crust, corner italian pizzaria type pizza that tastes like a slice of heaven type pizza that cheezy greezy drips on the paper plate and leaves dust on your fingers and makes your eyes roll back cuz its just that good type pizza that mmmmmm! type pizza.  you know, that kind.

i had a plan, too.  i got off of work at 6:30, they close at 7:30, so i had an hour to get there and the place is smack dab between work and home.  perfect.  well, work (the retail place) went over time as usual and as i neared the place, i saw that they were just closing up... but i couldnt stop cuz hubby had to leave for work at 7:30 and let me tell you --- it was one of the hardest things that i ever did, walking on by.  especially since this place has been closed for the past month.  damn owners needing to go on vacation.  how dare they!!!  dammit, i should have just had them deliver a pie at 7.  that way, it would have been waiting for me at home... hot, sexy and calling my name.  dammity damn dammit!

tomorrow, its ON!!  i am getting 2 slices.  you know, a reward for all my pain and suffering.

** muppet keeps reaching for the keys.  im gonna let her type a little something...

f nn gcbbbbbbbbbbbbbcv

well, that was not very smart of me.  now she is screaming bloody murder because i wont let her type again.  i am such a rookie.

for the lonely, with all my love.

as i sit here watching tv, i keep seeing that weight watchers commercial over and over.  you know, the one where the lonely woman walks around a party, where a sad woman stands in front of a mirror, and then they all find solidarity and lovliness in a weight watchers meeting while cher sings that "song for the lonely" song. (yeah, i know i said song twice.)

i love it.

i think they should have a cruise.  so that these women can all celebrate that feeling, whatever it is that makes them smile like that, together... and wear bathing suits around beautiful pools, and get massages by unbiased professionals, and sit in steam rooms surrounded by other supportive women who arent afraid to let the towel slip down.  buffets that have all the delicious vacation-worthy food, but in healthier versions to cater to the weight watcher point system and to ensure that no one has to look at what they can't allow themselves to have. i think there should be a gala on that cruise so that these women can all put on gowns that flatter them instead of hiding in tents or squeezing themselves breathless. mind you, i in no way imply that all larger women are insecure fashion victims.  no, i simply would love for that environment to exist for those who are, in fact, a bit lonely.

lonely, maybe, because there are a sad few designers who make clothes above a 12 or 14, fewer chain stores where one can go and pick up a quick outfit for an outing, few places to buy fierce, sexy knee high boots that fit over a plus-sized calf.  lonely because there is precious little plus sized quality lingerie.  lonely because people like to give assvice when plus sized women order in restaraunts, or fill their cart in the market, or dare to eat some much desired and much deserved ice cream in public. see - being ignored, being singled out negatively, being ridiculed... it all tends to cause a life-threatening condition called lonliness.  and please know that one can indeed be lonely while standing in a crowd.

i want that cruise to exist.  and i want to be on it.

maybe i should make a phone call.